Ian’s House of L33t Pancakes

Please note: When I started writing this, it was about… a month ago. Anyway, I finally convinced myself to update again. ^^

You all thought I was gone, but no such luck. The other bad news is, this time I actually have a lot of stuff to talk about, so you all get to sit here, wasting your lives and/or formative years.

Item numero uno:
The internet… exploded. Well, verizon did. So, we’re using Dad’s laptop to mooch (sssh, it’s a secret) off of the neighbors and their working wireless that extends to our house.

My latest game I’ve gone crazy over: LOTR: Battle for Middle (Here’s where the Laptop died) Earth. The only problem is, its gotten kinda buggy. Buggy as in about five minutes in, it just declares “DEFEATED” and kills all my orcs. I’m currently trying to fix it. Stay tuned for details.

Seeing as how I’m without supa kewl PC games, I’ve been spending a lot of time on message boards and AIM. Well, I could be playing Battlefront (which still roxxors your boxxors) instead, but is more engrossing right now. Microsoft Word is undefeatable, apparently. I’m very happy I finally got AIM a while ago, since it means I get to talk to all my friends who live not here. (I’m about half an hour away from the rest of the world)

More Movies!
Batman Begins and Hellboy are currently fighting over being my #1 favorite comic movie of all time. In Batman… the casting choices, the acting, the atmosphere, the plot, just everything was beyond good. This isn’t the “Wow, I just saw a movie that was good” thing. I saw this when it came out, and I still love it.

War of the Worlds: All questions about the hidden meanings in this movie should be directed to my dad. I enjoyed it a lot, and it gets to go in my “Good Summer Movies” box.

Just out of curiosity, anyone who reads this and knows what an NES is, comment something about how they contribute to a man’s well being/society. Please?

“GET AWAY FROM MAH BISCUITS! Step away from the biscuits, or ah will cut you. Ah will cut you SO fast.”

This blog is SO special, I just had to put it in a different post.

This episode is the:
American Idiot Story Special (Part One)

Yes, for those of you who didn’t know, the not new anymore Green Day album is one big story. I’m dedicating this entire thing to giving you a (brief) synopsis (as best I can) of it. SPOILER WARNING if you never actually listened to the lyrics on the album or never bought it or whatever, but we all know that saying SPOILER WARNING just makes people say, “Ooh, spoilers! That means that I’ll know something that someone else doesn’t know, and that’ll make me cool!” So ignore that, and just read the blog.

Track One: American Idiot

This track has no bearing on the plot at all. It’s just a cool song.

Track Two: Jesus of Suburbia: Jesus of Suburbia/ City of the Damned/ I Don’t Care/ Dearly Beloved/ Tales from Another Broken Home

This is the start of the story, where we are introduced to the main character, the Jesus of Suburbia. He’s the son of Rage and Love (*shrugs*). He lives/hangs out at a 7-11, and finds out that people are screwed up and different. The Jesus wanders around the city and sees poor people and drugs and bad stuff, but he doesn’t care about anything. He thinks about himself and whether he’s messed up in the head or not, and runs away from home.
(Please note: I’m not 100% sure about this track. Don’t flame me please)

Track Three: Holiday

This is mostly an anti-war song. Comment if it has something to do with the plot.

Track Four: Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The Jesus of Suburbia is wandering around the city in the middle of the night, all alone, thinking about how much he’s messed up. He’s lonely, too. The Jesus keeps walking around for a long time.

Track Five: Are We the Waiting

This song is about dreams that the Jesus has, about how he want’s the town to burn down, and his about if he has a purpose or is waiting for something.

Track Six: St. Jimmy

Finally, St. Jimmy appears. He’s a drunken, drug doing, rebellious guy who hangs out in night clubs and thinks society is stupid. The Jesus of Suburbia listens to him, and isn’t so depressed anymore.

Well, thats it for volume one. I’ll write number two if people like this one, or just feel like having me end it.

“Zieg Heil to the President Gasman/ bombs away is your punishment/ pulverise the eifell towers/ that criticize your government”

I either believe that I should deliver quality over quantity with this blog, or am just saying that as an excuse for not blogging a lot. You decide which fits better.

Important Updates:

I am, when I write this, going to a Green Day concert tommorow. It promises to be /\/\05+ +3|-| |_|83r 1337. After listening to the new (ish) album extensively (again), I have changed my previous review to this: Buy this Album, it pwns. All songs are good.

I bought StarWars Battlefront for $50 dollars, breaking my own laws of extortion! I have been playing it recently. A lot. An extremely huge lot. I can drive an AT-AT WALKER! (and tauntauns and speeder bikes and be a destroyer droid etc.) My list of the top 10 most satisfying things to do in the game:

10. Step on Ewoks.
9. Take a jetpack stormtrooper and jump right in front of a rebels face and hit them five times before they notice.
8. Knock someone off of cloud city.
7. Jump off of cloud city, then jetpack back up.
6. Be a destroyer droid, roll into a cluster of clones, open up, and fire randomly.
5. Drive an AT-AT walker and destroy the shield generator.
4. Drive a speeder bike speeding and screaming into a tree and explode.
3. Getting in a droid tank and going on a rampage in their own base.
2. Taking out an AT-AT with a snowspeeder, then flying headfirst into an Imperial command post.
1. Being a Rebel Vanguard (missile person) and firing at the AT-AT looming above you, getting really close to finishing it off, then dropping a mine right on its foot so you go flying and the walker falls over and explodes.
In case you couldn’t tell, I like this game.

Random Questions:
Who thought it was a good idea to give a toddler the bottom half of a Burger King Pokeball? It was the thing the Real Toy came in. Not the toy. Well, I take that back. It has Super Suffocation Action! And Lifelike Hair! And Kung-Fu Grip!

Why do you get in less trouble if you regularly sleep in class than if you fall asleep for the first time?

Does anyone REALLY care about what celebrities ate for breakfast or who they broke up with?

How come its okay to show excessive violence on TV, but any nudity is completely of the devil and must be stopped?

And I’m spent.

“You have little people inside you.”

The Numa Numa dance.
One of the internet’s hidden thingies. Well… it’s not really hidden anymore, and it never really was, but thats beside the point. This blog, I’m gonna be nice and give all the nice people who read my blog, especially my good friends Free Texas Holdem and Internet Poker who keep commenting with their insightful comments that have nothing to do with my blogs… Anyway. There’s:
THE BADGER SONG
Bananaphone
Here’s a short explanation for people. The badger song is these little badgers popping up and this deep voice going “badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!” interspersed with the word SNAKE. Bananaphone… is an experience. Go see it. Aw, heck, just see the links. I’m not gonna bother writing explanations. Plus, they have like deep cosmic meanings, so figure it out yourself.

“Alo, salut, sunt eu un haiduc”
“Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANAPHONE”

Later that day…
Found a remix of the badger song by the creator. It supports “football” (the not-american kind) Can’t bring myself to stop watching it. Send food please.
Badger football song
“footy footy footy footy….”

Later again…
Found another funny soccer video. Send more food.
Link to it

I found out yesterday why people like online games. You can talk to people. And use numbers instead of letters. so you can be like:
Me: j0, \/\/|-|4+5 up?
someone: |\|0+ |\/|u(|-|.
Me: 5\/\/33+|\|355.
n00b:lol omg rotfl IM NOT A NOOB!!11!!111!!1!11! stcu!
Me: …
*logs out*

It’s pretty cool. Oh, yeah, you can play games too. Almost forgot that part
I learned a new smiley. T-T. It means a little crying face. But not seriously crying. Just for when you’re joking. And lol does NOT mean “lots of luck” *see Calvin’s dad*

“Look! It’s a monkey… oh, oh; it’s a STAR WARS monkey!”

Well, Christmas has come and gone, and I got cool stuff. Like a dance pad for DDR. And an MP3 player. And Napoleon Dynamite. And other stuff, but I’m not gonna tell you cause you might come to my house and steal it. Or… get bored while I list the stuff. So, who wants pie?

FACTS ABOUT STAR WARS!
1. Ewoks are people eating monsters. Proof: They were going to eat Han Solo and the others. And they probably did eat those stormtroopers. Don’t be fooled by their shortness.

2. The technology in the prequels is more advanced by a lot than the tech in the normal (good) trilogy. Huh?

3. Uh, I’m out. Come back later.

Hey, remember a couple years ago when send me money people were all up in arms about give me your stuff “subliminal messages” in ads? I’m glad love me and despair that that’s all over with.

“You come back after 30 years and expect a relationship? I hate you!”
“I’m Hip, I’m with it. Daka Daka Daka Daka…”

Extortion. It rears its ugly head in our society, even in places where we think we’re safe. Corporate bigwigs sit in their offices, day after day, thinking of ways to take childrens’ hard earned money away from them as fast as possible. Yes friends, even in such places of virtue as Best Buy and Circuit City. My friend wanted to buy a new video game. He went into the store, eager to buy Pikmin 2 or Veiwtiful Joe 2, but alas, they each cost fifty dollars. FIFTY dollars. I’m lucky to get twenty for a few weeks of petsitting. This leads to kids spending what little money they have to get a *gasp* budget title. They go home with some poorly done, buggy, piece of shlock churned out by random developers in their mom’s basement. A lucky few, however, never got last year’s hot titles. Those chosen few get to experience the groundbreaking achievements of the past for the first time. But their rich friends have still already bought the sequels. $@#%… I don’t own a video game system, so I just mooch off of my friends when I’m over at their houses. This gives me an insight into their horrible anguish and despair.
Extortion’s an ugly practice America. Isn’t it time to put an end to it?

Oops, almost forgot a quote.

“Look! I can see their parachutes! They’re okay!”

(#%@^! dubbers…)

I changed the links now, and if you actually read this or knew it existed before I did, then you should get an award. ANYway, I’m gonna rant sometimes, other times I’ll explain things, or whatever. I take requests if I can’t think of anything…

First things first, it’s Christmas time, and thats good. Except, my jaw is broken so I can’t really eat anything more than like half an inch high, or do sports or DDR, or a lot of things, so that’s not cool. But I’m out of school, and its Christmas, and winter, and that IS cool. I’m running out of things to say, so I’m gonna post this then go play at Flashplayer.com. Oh, yeah. By the way, if anyone knows what my quotes at the end of each blog are, comment and tell me. You get a free, nonexistent toaster if you guess right.

“Gentlemen, presenting: MORE CORN!”